The trekking Part 4 (The Tenzin Express/Experience)

It was on day 3 of the trekking (on the road to Tadapani) that I saw this shining star walking and enjoing every second of it. Our eyes crossed, we shared a friendly smile, and said hello. At that very moment, a strange feeling went true me. A warm feeling, that felt really comfortable and made me feel at ease. That night we stayed in a place a little further than Tadapani, a place where we were the only visitors and a place with a magnificant view. You had a wonderfull view at Machapuchhare. The next morning when we were getting ready to leave, I was standing outside of the room, enjoing the view once more. At that time this "mysterious" woman passed by. Again she had this big smile on her face, while everybody else was still showing signs of a morning feeling. Again we shared a friendly smile and we said hello. I found out that she was Australian and that she was trekking on her own. A few hours later we met again in a place where we were taking lunch. We talked more, and she said her name was Tenzin, a name that I was not able to remember at that time. I saw her Mala and asked her about her religion. She is a Buddhist. Before I went to Nepal, I was interested in Buddhism, when I was in Kathmandu, I got fascinated by Buddhism, and when I was talking to her, I just knew that Buddhism was something I really wanted to include in my life. The peace, the rest and the joy on her face, made me feel happy. And that went on for days; Just seeing or thinking of her made me smile, it made me open up to myself. It gave me strength and power to go on. But most of all, it started to make me feel alive again. I did this all by myself, but in some ways, she helped me, just by being te wonderfull person that she is. The next days we met more and more, we even took our nights at the same places, we shared a bedroom, we EVEN started sharing apples. No apple will be just an apple in my life again. Every apple brings a smile on my face these days. Apples became one of the connections between Tenzin and me. It's like I see her in every apple, and when I feel sad or lonely, I should just eat an apple, and then I wouldn't be lonely, because I realise that she's with me, in my heart. Spending time with her made me feel at ease, and therefor I could open up to myself. I started to see more colour, feel more emotion, ... I just started to feel! Because I was feeling supported, I got to open up, and she saw that. I don't think she realised what part she took in that, but that's also not what interests her. She just loves a smile, to see someone feeling, to see someone grow, to see someone open up. She told me things that are between her and me, but it were things that made me feel really safe with her. It was nice to realise how open we were already on the first moments. We were telling things to eachother that you normally don't tell "on a fist date"! Being with her just felt so secure, that I wanted to share whole my life with her, I know she wouldn't use it in a bad way, and I have no intensions to do that with the things she told me. To me she is such a collection of positive energy and true open emotions, and as you might remember; that's what true life is about, to me. Nowadays, when we hear eachother on the phone, we're always happy as two children seeing their Christmas presents. When I recieve a mail from her, a big smile shows up on my face, when I recieve a text message, a true warm feeling passes through my body. That's what love is to me, that's what life is to me. A true collection of sincere emotions and energy! And you know what the most wonderfull part is; ever since I met her, I'll never walk alone anymore!!!! Thank you nature, for this beautifull creature that you've raised!!

The trekking Part 3 (The trekking experience)

I could try and tell you detailed every step we took in the trekking, every town, village we past through, but that's not what I want to do. Not the fact that I took so many steps there, so I can't remember all of them, made me decide that it's more interesting for me, and I think also for you, to tell you what an experience it was for me. The trekking gave birth to many of my inner feelings that I still feel now, but also revealed a lot of feelings that I have been hiding for to long.

I still become emotional when Tenzin tells me these days, that seeing me in the mountains was wonderfull, that I was part of it. And that's exactly what it felt like to me. I felt like I was part of the mountains and that is a wonderfull feeling, believe me.

Being in between those bigbigbig wonders of nature, it made me realise that I'm a part of a bigger thing. It's not just me, but it's me! Seeing things in that perspective and realising that made me concious of the fact that I was still carrying all the problems of the people around me on my back. That's just to much to do for a little man like me. Actually I have to say, for a little part of nature, like me.

Not only did I lose a lot of the weight on my back, weight that I placed there myself, but I also met some beautifull creatures of nature, some people call them humans. Ofcourse there was Tenzin, but describing what she ment to me and did with me, I will spend a whole item about it. But there were a lot of people who made me feel and give love. There was Bhim, the guide, Bhesh, Prithivi and Purna, whome I talked about earlier. But there were so many people, opening themselves and feeling very safe to me, so I opened up to them to. In this "resume" I'll put some pictures of wonderfull people I met in the mountains. Sometimes it will be someone I didn't even speak to by language, but that I spoke to just by eyecrossing.

The more time I spended in that increddible invironement, the more open I became. The region, the air in it, the people, the views, the smell, everything made me open up hidden places in my soul.

While I was walking, running, sitting during the day trips, feelings of sadness could appear, feelings of guilth about Katia's death for instance, and I just let them be there. I didn't try to reject them, but I let them exist and come out. The result was that 10 minutes later, a smile, not only from humans, but also from trees, animals, mountains, waterfalls brought a big smile on my soul, and also my face. Ever since, I smile at peoples sadness. Sadness and weekness are two of the most true parts of people I think. Happiness is also a true part of people, but often it is an act. Many people want us to be happy, and therefor we play happy sometimes. I used to do that to, and sometimes I still do it, but I don't want to do it because society asks me. Make note that I think that society is an artificial thing, so actually I went along in this and therefor I chose to act happy, even when I was sad.

Being in the mountains changed that for me. It made me open up to myself, and see what was deep inside. Walking by myself between those giant hills (even the hills were giant to me), in that variety of colors, being amongst others who were open and free of blockings inside, not only made me discover more about myself, it also made me love me. I'm very happy that I had the oportunity to open up between people who accepted me for who I am, and let me feel my feelings. Without them, it would propably ended very fast, my revealing!

The trekking didn't make me a better person, I'm still the person I was before, there's just more to see of me right now. I've opened up, and for one of the first times in life, not only other people got a look at the real Lieven, even me.

What did change during my time there, is my view on earthly life as a human being. I see it as the universe exits of energy, emotions and feelings and that's devided into several "bodies". e.g. people, trees, animals, mountains, water,... So whenever one of these bodies dies, dissapears, the energy and emotions still stay here. They need another body, and my beliefs are that when Katia died, I took part of her pain inside me, feeling that was what I deserved. We can choose what energy, feelings we accept and which ones we don't, but it's a process that takes a lot of attention.

Attention that I couldn't seem to spend before, trying to fullfill my so called duties in society.

Now I feel that nature, energy, emotions are real, it's easier for me to accept myself as I am. Knowing that I'm just a stage, not the ending point. I'm a stage in the eternal life of my emotions and energy, so I think my job now is to treath them as good as possible. I accepted them and I have to take care of them. Give them a home, nurture them like they are my child. Giving them a nice place to stay, also includes taking care of the body, try to live a life as healthy as possible.

THAT's what trekking was for me, these sights inside of me and how I think the universe is working! It helps me a lot, and I feel good about it.

Life is a beautifull thing, enjoy it, because you're a stage to another level! Nothing more, but certainly nothing less!!

The trekking Part 2 (The beginning)

October 4 2006 will be the day bookmarked in my soul as the start of some beautifull friendships. The friendship between the mountains and me, between me and me, between The A-team and me and already the first steps to one of the most beautifull friendships in my life: between Tenzin and me!

We left Pokhara by taxi-bus for Naya Pull, where we started the trekking. I did not know what was in front of me but I felt excited and strong. We started walking, and the first meters went very slow, because everything we saw, was so beautifull, that we wanted to take a picture of it. That first day we went to Tirkedunga (it took me a week before I could remember that name), and everyone was feeling in good shape. The road was going up and down, but just easy. Later it would seem that this was just a warming up. We walked in between the rice fields, already saw like 1263 waterfalls and nature exposed itself, being so big, to us. I couldn't keep my eyes of of all that beauty. The colours, the trees, the rice, the water being so powerfull. I felt like a city-bird, seeing my first tree. I already saw a lot of nature in my life, but this was something else. This was like nature-heaven to me. It made me feel calm and excited in one emotion. An experience I can't explain, but I hope everyone gets to experience it. The whole day, I felt so happy that I could be part of this. This nature wasn't part of my life, I understood that I was part of it's life. It made me loose a lot of weight on my back. The weight of carrying the problems of the whole world.

A little more about the A-team. When I talk about them, I'm talking about our two guides and our two porters. There was the chief-guide, Bhim. A small, dark man, who opened himself during the trip as being a spontaneous, friendly and funny man. He made up the plans and laughed as I have never seen anyone laughing before. Ok, sometimes, he could tell a dirty joke and than he was the one laughing hardest.

Than there was Purna. Could you have a more suitable name being guide in the Annapurna region? First I thought it was a nickname, but later it seemed to be his real name. He is a shy, but very helpfull man. Almost every day he stayed with us, untill the afternoon. Than he went to second gear and left us, to go and arrange the lodge for that evening. Once I went with him, and believe me, this guy goes fast. He's strong and really seems to dance on the rocks. It's beautifull to see, how he manages to work with the rough stones and slippery paths. His English wasn't that good, but day after day, we got to talk more and more. It was a matter of trust I think. We made eachother feel at ease.

The two porters were Bhesh and Pritibi. Bhesh was the tallest of the fab-4 and Pritibi the smallest. In the beginning they were both silent and at a little distance. It was nice to see how we managed to get better and better friends every day. The language also being a problem here, Bhesh even tried to teach me some Nepali. Sometimes we were walking and I was repeating Nepali sentences for like half an hour, but it worked. I think I knew like 10 sentences after a while and ofcourse those were the sentences I said to every Nepali we crossed. But they appreciated and it made contact really easy. (and funny) With Pritibi I have been racing from time to time. Make notice that he was carrying half of our luggage and I only carried my day-pack. I still don't believe how much effort it took to get him behind me. He even made me a Bamboo Flute, with some bamboo he found in the forrest. He picked it up, and a few hours later the flute was finished. Really amazing! Coincidence or not: Pritibi is Nepali for ART!!!

Now I realise that I have taken some big risks running in an area completely strange to me, but I managed to do it without fear and therefor without getting an accident. I think fear is the biggest enemy of me, but there I didn't know any fear. I was so happy and free from obstacles inside myself.

(end of Trekking: The beginning)

The trekking Part 1 (Pokhara)

Ok, here we go. On october 3 we took an early bus to Pokhara, where our trekking would begin. The bus trip was only 200km, so in Belgium that is a good 2hours driving. Not in Nepal. It was a 7 hours taking trip, but it was nice. As we came closer to Pokhara every minute, you could see the landscape changing into a miracle of nature. Rice, trees, fields, hills, are just a few of the beautifull eye-catchers I saw.

In Pokhara we were lucky to experience our first tropical rain. In no time the streets were filled with water. It gave me a chance to talk a little more with the beautifull woman from the money exchange counter, as a cow came to change some money.

It was a quiet evening, and we were looking forward to the trekking. In the evening we also had our first real conversation with Bhim, our guide, during dinner. Yes, I was talking during dinner, but only when my mouth was empty. We saw our first Nepali dance act and went to bed early, as we wanted to be ready for the coming 13 days.

At this point I did not know what was going to happen to me in the next two weeks, but I already felt wonderfull. I experienced a calmness inside me that I had never felt before, or at least I couldn't remember. People might say that there is so much chaos over there and that they go crazy being there, but for me it was the other way around. The chaos had been in my head, and being in a busy place like Kathmandu and Pokhara made me get structure in my head. In no time I felt at ease and so powerfull that I could take anything that came to me. I was really looking forward to the trekking. Being scared of everything in Belgium, in Nepal I felt strong and with self confidence. Strange how that can be, but I love it. In that little time my life was already changed, into something that I had been looking for, for so long. Peace at heart and mind! It was like at once I started to see much more colours as before. There used to be green, yellow, blue, brown,... but suddenly all those colours came in so many tints. There was a light and a dark version of every coulour, and there was the light-dark version, and... (got it?)

I think this has all to do with perception. All those colours were there, before I saw them, but getting structure in my mind and heart, made it possible to see more, to use my brains for noticing what was around me, and where I was part of. It's so beautifull, and yet only the beginning!

Coming home Part 2

After we got that first look on Hinduism on October 2nd, it was time to gain some Buddhism-impressions. Ok I admit, I was even more looking forward to that. We went to Boddnath, where we saw this amazing Stupa standing right in front of us. It was surrounded by prair flags. A sight I will never forget.

A Stupa is a totally closed building and at once a "Lieven" imagination showed up, seeing this Stupa. Where is Richard? I don't know, I just saw him checking the inside of the Stupa right before we finished it. Oeps?!?

The Stupa stands right in front of a beautifull monastry, which has an amazing bell, the size Santa hopefully never buys for his raindeer.

As we walked further on the Tibetan domain, I bought my first prairflags and visited my first monastry on the inside. I didn't really feel comfortable, as the Monks were sitting down, doing there prairs and we, the tourists walked easyly around in that same room. People say they didn't bother, so I believed it, still having my doubts. They even offer there "guests" tea, and I must admit, my first salted tea was special, but I liked it. I was cought by Buddhism, the moment I walked into it's monastry and saw the serenity of the monks. I felt myself at ease there and calmed down, just being there. I could have stayed for at least a few hours. Observing, maybe even try to participate, learning and meditating. It was my first physical contact with Buddhism, but at once it made me realise what my life stands for and how I like to spend it. For now, that's for me to know, but some of you will find out soner or later. Who has, wants to know it, will, I trust in that.

We visited "The Monkey Temple", where monkeys really cross you on the ground, without saying namaste, and where Bhuddism and Hinduism are gathered next to each other. It's nice to see how different believes can stand peacefully next to eachother.

We also visited Durban Square, where we went to visit the house of Kumari. She is a girl that is pure, in the purest sence of the word. She may not have lost any blood in her life, for instance, and she has to stand different exams before she can prove being a Kumari.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kumari

Kumary was not home, but we got to admire one of the most famous handicrafts of Nepal. The wooden windows, beautifully carved.

Shortly after arriving back at the hotel, we got the news our luggage had arrived. We celebrated with a few beers, knowing that I'm normally not a beer drinker, and prepared ourselves to leave for Pokhara the next day, to go trekking in the Annapurna-region.

In the evening I went into town, on my own. Just trying to meet some of the locals. Since it was Bada Dasain, the biggest festival in Nepal, I met some celebrating shopowners, taxidrivers, press-members, all on the same place. At the street in front of a shop. I offered to buy some more drinks, and we had fun, although I was still very much in my western way of thinking; I have to watch out. Nothing happened, and that opened my eyes again. Trust in the good intensions of people. Don't live your life in fear, because you'll miss so many beautifull feelings!

(end of part 2)

Coming home Part 1

It's strange, but being in Nepal really felt like being home. For several reasons, I felt more at home there, than in Belgium. All my life I've been looking for "my home". A place where I could allow me to be myself, where it felt safe, where people spoke, acted and lived based on emotions. And suddenly it was there. Without noticing it, I slipped into it. The grass is always greener on the other side of the hill, but when I look at my pictures now, the grass just is greener in Nepal.

We, two other Belgian men (whome I first met at the airport in Belgium) and me, arrived in Kathmandu on October 1st 2006. After 4 flights, it seemed that something went wrong with the transportation of the luggage. Result, no luggage and the man behind the counter wasn't really well equiped for making a form to get our luggage back. At least, the airport didn't have the equipment, we're used to in Europe. No problem, it'll arrive tomorrow, or the day after that, or never. Who knows? I just accepted it and it even made me smile. Welcome in Kathmandu. The Nepali man, kept smiling, although he didn't seem to know what to do with the tourists standing around his desk, that I think he brought himself, and some of them getting nervous. He just kept smiling, like most of the Nepalies do. I think it's some kind of Nepali-look.

Coming out of the airport, we met our second part of Nepal: the 1352 friendly people who will help you carry your bags. Being in India, I knew this was gonna happen, but there were 8 people welcoming us and later it seemed, there was only one man who really knew who we were. Always funny those hectic situations. But most important thing was...I arrived in Nepal. Imagine I was left behind in London and my luggage got to Nepal. The welcome in Hotel Thamel was warm and friendly and they even seemed to have beer. Big beers. The Nepalies seem to drink one of those beers together with two or three people. Some of the Belgians thought really different about that and the manager of the hotel seemed very happy with that. After all it stays business, can you blame them? October 2nd, we went to do sightseeing in Kathmandu. First we went to the famous shivatemple from Pashupatinath (Pashupati; the protector of Nepal and the lord of all living creatures, according to the Nepali Hindu's) at the bank of Bagmati river. I must admit, it is beautifull, even when you see corpses being burned in front of it. That's tradition there. They don't burry dead people, they burn them, and after that they throw there ashes in the river. Why? http://www.mailerindia.com/hindu/veda/index.php?death Outside the temple, inside I don't know, because only Hindu's are allowed inside the temple, monkeys were walking around, next to the people and the cows and dogs. Nice to see how everybody lives together on the streets, in the trees and at the bank of the river. You can also find Sadhoes, people who gave up everything and devote there life to the god Shiva. They live of what they get from the people and I think some of them are able to start a carreer as photo model, because everyone who passes them immediately grabs for his camera, and not only to see if its still there. You take a picture of them, to which they coöporate wellwilling, and in regard you give them some money, or food. I also saw my first snake that day, but it didn't scare me. Ok, it was one of them funcky dancing snakes, but previously, even they used the scare the something out of me. To me it was a sign that I was getting more and more self confident and that I was trying to live in the culture of Nepal. I seemed to be able to let go of my western way of thinking and was more attrackted to the Nepali culture of Hinduism and Buddhism. The open emotions and the way people deal with eachother was also a fantastic experience to me. I felt like I finally was coming home. (end of part 1)

I will write down a short note about my trip to Nepal, while preparing to write the whole story. It was a fantastic time, which brought me closer to myself, nature, other people and inner peace. I've been able to discover more about Buddhism being surrounded by people who live it. I met wonderfull people, but one person was really special. Tenzin, a beautifull Australian girl, touched me in a special way. I feel like I found my soulmate in her, and that feels great. During the trekking of 13 days to ABC there were so many fantastic views, contacts, situations,... but most of all, there was no motorised traffic. No sound or sight of cars, plains, motorcycles. That was a unique experience for me and it tastes like more. The cultural choque didn't appear when I was in Nepal, but the moment I came back in Belgium he was there. Conclusion: I feel more attached to the warm, open culture of Nepal than the cold and fake culture of the west. I must say that this is my impression, it's like that for me. Many people get ill from food overthere, for me it was the other way around again: my insides protested when I was back in Belgium. Nepal was a unique experience for me and it left me some friends that I will never forget and maybe see some of them again in this, or an other life. Strange how you can bound with people just by eye-crossing. When you can open your heart and see what's happening around you, you can feel so many joy inside yourself, and that's something nobody can take away from you. Believe in yourself and nobody can hurt you, by calling you names, or giving you bad comments. I once read: Those who care don't matter, and those who matter don't care. I think that's one of the most important lessons I learned during the three weeks in Nepal. I let me be myself, no matter what others thought about it. And you know what? A lot of people accepted me more. Thanks to Tenzin, even rain can't bother me anymore. She made me realise that it's just wet sunshine, another beautifull miracle of nature. About the Nepalese local people? They are pure, friendly and with so much hospitality. Even when they're poor and have not enough food, they will invite you in to have a meal with them. And it's not out of policy, it's because they respect you and eachother. It was one of the most beautifull experiences of my life and I feel that it's just the beginning. The beginning of a beautifull continuation.