Mexico Chiapas (part 3/4)

Going to Palenque was one of the best desicions I took when I was in Mexico. I have no regrets of any other desicion, but Palenque is one of those places that conquered my heart. It's one of those places where I felt home, between the ruines, in the jungle, swimming near the waterfalls in that jungle. Every bit of suffering, and mind torturing dissapears, being in that kind of natural welth. I realise that I feel rich, feeling the sun on my face, absorbing colours that surround me, being a small part of that big nature that surrounds me. No pressure, just being part of it and breathing pure nature.

Looking through little gaps, or windows in the ruines give me a different view of the world. Being in that peaceful state of mind, I really get to enjoy those little parts of life so much. It surprises me every time. Being colourblind, I'm not able to name all the colours like other people do, but I know I can absorbe them and let them fly true my body. At those times, I don't care if it's blue or purple, if it's green or brown, I know what I see and I love to be part of it.

Spending time in Palenque together with Dina also made it more easy to gain that state of inner peace. She was there, but not pushing, both in our own state of mind, but still together. Respecting eachothers limits and in loving care for eachothers needs. She's crazy and fun to be with, with a big dose of intelectual baggage and interesting points of view. The kind of person that makes me think about more than what's happening around me, that's Dina.

Walking back from the ruines to the hotel, many mini-busses passed by, but one caught my attention. At the back a young man was waving and signing. The mini-bus stopped and there were Raphael and Emmanuel, the two French people I met in Oaxaca. They left the people they hooked up with, to say hello and have dinner with us that evening. It really touched me!

Going to the waterfalls is always going to inner peace, for me. Visiting Misol-Ha, and Agua Azul was no exception. It's like the energy produced by the water, is transformed into me. With that much energy, it's easy to put away all agitation and enjoy life at its fullest. Swimming between these waterfalls was also a new stage in my search for peace of mind. As I said many times before, also this was being part of such a big thing and just floating in it. Being carried by the power of nature, that's what it feels like, to me.

Agua Azul even touched us so deeply, that we decided to go back the next day, and just spend the whole day at that powerful place.

Mexico Chiapas (part 2/4)

Chamula, is a little town near San Christobal. Here we spend some time walking on the Zocalo, and breathing the atmosphere of the town. Ofcourse there was the market at the Zocalo, there were the children beggers, the church was painted in a colourful way which really made it look wonderful in it's surrounding, but what I liked most at that time was being in the sun. Feeling the sun spreading its beams all over my face. I do believe there is some strong power in the energy of that sun, because when I really let that sun come over me, it's like I'm reborn, and deliberated of any kind of sorrow. At that moment the inner peace overcomes me, and that's what I see as the search in my life: Inner peace. No words anyone has ever said to me had more impact than the beaming of the sun.

It feels like being in the position of a foetus, and the more I let the sun shine on me, the more energy grows in me. The energy makes me open up from the position of the foetus to standing straight, smiling and letting energy flow in and out, all in balance, and with a smile touching both ears! At those moments I feel like a source of neverending positive energy. Energy that I want to use to grow in my life.

One of those moments I reached a little outside the center of Chamula. On the side of a hill, in a semy rough landscape, with a view over the hills and the Zocalo, but far enough so there was silence. Dina and me, we spend some time together there, as well as time alone. It were moments of truth, peace, wisdom. Moments were I could look deep inside myself, without revealing negative energy. At those moments it doesn't matter where I go, I just want to be. Not to be is out of the question! (I solved THE question!!)

When I'm in that state of mind, I can look at emotions in a different way, in a more truthful way. Seeing beggers don't hurt me in the same way anymore. It's not just compassion that I feel, it doesn't make me feel all sad anymore. I can look at myself as an individual, and therefor see the other for what he or she is. It makes me sad seeing that some people have to work hard to attain a little bit of humanity, and others just need to act working hard to attain more and more! My compassion is different. My compassion is really pointed to the individual, and not to my past anymore. I can be there for the other person, where before I was trying to heal my memory also. There is room for others inside my heart, because it's open. There's room for others inside my home!

Opening my home for those who need it the most is something I've always done, but at those times...I think it's more comfortable for everyone.

Mexico Chiapas (part 1/4)

From Oaxaca I returned to DF for one day. Just to see a metal band from Holland, and leave with Dina next day, for a 9 day trip to Chiapas. On the nightbus to DF, I saw Margaret, a woman I met in the Oaxaca hostel. Arriving in DF, it felt a little like coming home. I felt powerful and as if I knew the city as if I had been living there all my life. Propably Margaret saw that and I walked her to her hotel, as a local guide. It was a very special feeling, a feeling of confidence. Before we went to Margaret's hotel, we had a cup of coffee, with some locals, by the street. Just sitting around a big table, where the other people were Mexicansd on their way to work. I felt one with the city and it's atmosphere. I felt part of it, and not just a tourist. Meeting Dina again was special, but seeing Kuas and Kafka again was even better. I even started thinking about a plan to take them home with me. The concert was also something special. I was surrounded by a kind of Mexicans that didn't fit in into my view of Mexicans. I never realised that there were also metal fans in Mexico. People with long black hair, ok, but with dirty long black hair, leather jackets, chains,... I loved it! To save us some time, we flew to Chiapas, although I would have rather taken a bus. Driving in a bus is more like me than taking a plane, but no regrets. The first looks of Chiapas I got were those around the airport. We took a taxi drive from Tuxtla to San Christobal. After five minutes we were already surrounded by beautiful nature. An endless canyon, flowers, trees, hills,... really my kind of surrounding. San Christobal is a little town to me, one that breaths tourism, but not in a diturbing way. As many parts of Mexico, it kept a lot of it's authenticity and local products. Markets, where you can also find locals shopping, little streets, people selling food or drinks on the street. People from around trying to make a living. Ofcourse there were also the beautiful churches. The area also breaths "Marcos" and the Zapatistas. In a history not long ago, the people from Chiapas showed how strongly they can come up for themselves and their loved ones. They stood up against the governement and took possesion of their own streets. It's sad that you have to take possesion of what's yours. They took possesion to make a statement that they wanted a better life, a better life that they deserve. Working hard, providing the rich, but getting only a little in return. I felt the strong willpower of the town. It inspired me to think about terms of possesion, conquering, owning, giving. The earth is only from itself, and we can be happy we get to live on it. But still, we, humans, made places our own. Many people think we can own a part of the earth, but I don't believe in that. Now, I can agree we need structure, the structure that deviding the world into countries tries to provide, but where did we go wrong that it had to come this far? Sometimes I ask myself the quetsion: Why can't we all live peacefully together, respecting ourself and others? It' s a question that used to sound so pathetic in my ears before, but these days, it sound like a scream for help. A scream of becoming aware of who I used to be and to what I became after experiencing life!